


The Con-Flict

by KatrinaRice



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Swearing, a little bit of smut because it's me all right, ex-con Levi, unemployed Erwin Smith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinaRice/pseuds/KatrinaRice
Summary: Erwin's mum has threatened to throw him out if he doesn't dump his ex-con boyfriend Levi.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	The Con-Flict

**Author's Note:**

> So, as some of you following me on Twitter already know, I saw this column in the "Dear Deidre"-section of THE SUN and I just couldn't stop myself: [https://www.thesun.co.uk/dear-deidre/12636954/mum-threaten-throw-out-dump-ex-con-boyfriend/](url)

Levi is 27. There is a bunch of tattoos on his arms, his back, his legs. He has a piercing going through his right eyebrow and his bottom lip. His hair is eerily black and his scowl is intimidating. 

Erwin loves everything about him. 

His mother does not.

At the age of 30 her son was supposed to be already married, possibly have kids, an own house, for God's sake. Instead, Erwin is crashing at her place because his bachelor pad has burned down and right now he can't afford anything new because he has just lost his job. 

And then, to top it all off, he brings this... this... _troublemaker_ home. This good-for-nothing, notorious, scoundrel. Levi Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman's nephew. An ex-con. 

Burglary, theft, drug dealing, aggravated assault. Some even say, Levi's murdered a man. 

And now that well-known thug is sitting at Cornelia Smith's dinner table. Sipping on her tea, holding the cup like an uncivilized beast, neglecting the handle and gripping the rim instead, looking at her with dark, cold eyes – while her daft, blushing son is all in smiles. And all Cornelia wants to do is to drill the cake fork into her hand, hoping it would wake her from this terrible nightmare. Only this isn't a nightmare. 

She had told Erwin that Levi wasn't allowed in the house. And boy, her son tricked her. Lying to her that he had broken off things with Levi and was going to bring his old friend Mike for tea. And now that black-haired criminal is here instead of Erwin's wonderful friend. Even though Cornelia had threatened Erwin. Had told him she would kick him out if he would continue seeing this... eyesore of a man. 

“Mum,” Erwin says, shivering slightly because the tension in the room is nerve-wracking, and he knows his mother might have a heart attack next. “Mummy,” he repeats, putting on his brightest smile, while he grabs Levi’s hand and entwines their fingers, “Levi and I are getting married.”

“What?!” Cornelia screeches. “What?!?!?” Levi scoffs at those outcries and rolls his eyes. “What the hell?! Erwin?! You cannot be serious!!” Cornelia slams her hands down onto the table making all the porcelain handed down from her grandmother clatter. “No! Just... I will not allow this!”

Erwin presses both of his lips together, thankful that at least his mother _didn’t_ have that possible heart attack and is just furious instead, screaming at the top of her lungs. “You are not marrying that... that criminal! Erwin, for God’s sake! What has gotten in your mind?! He is bad for you, you are ruining your life! You are ruining _mine_ , and aunt Janice's! What will the people think?!?! I told you to not engage with the Ackermans – and now you're _marrying_ one?!” 

“He's also going to _be_ an Ackerman,” Levi says. Calmly. In a low voice. And Cornelia nearly chokes on her own spit. 

“Wh-what?! What the hell do you mean?!” 

“I'm taking on Levi's surname,” Erwin explains and loves the way Levi squeezes his hand at that.

He does not, however, love the way his mother reacts to that. Because Cornelia Smith freaks out. His mother loses it. Becomes hysteric. She starts throwing insults, asking her son how in the hell he dares to do that, calling him useless and brain dead in her desperate frenzy.

She starts to weep loudly, sobbing like a mess, tearing her hair out as she keeps on shaking her head in gruesome disbelief, while Levi holds Erwin’s hand firmly, places their entangled digits on the table, in fact, for the woman to see. And it freaks her out even more. 

She pleads Erwin not to do this, accuses Levi of exploiting her son in his most vulnerable moments, unemployed, depressed – according to her –, lost deep in a midlife crisis, with Erwin staring at the piece of apple pie in front of him, unable to say a word.

And then, Cornelia Smith brings up his father. 

“He would be so ashamed of you, if he was still alive,” she states. And that’s when Levi lets go of Erwin's hand. 

“All right,” he says, with his deep, almost bored and still very threatening voice. “I've had enough of this shit.” He turns his head, looks at Erwin. “Bunny, go get the stuff you wanted to take with you tonight. We’re leaving.”

Wordlessly, Erwin gets up from the table, offering his fiancé a little unsure smile, before he turns around and walks upstairs to his childhood room that he has been occupying for some time now as an adult, his mother huffing and puffing in anger, like an old steam locomotive.

Levi ignores Cornelia, his gaze fixated on the stairs Erwin has just walked up. Until he hears the distinct shutting of the door. Only then, Levi turns back around to look at his soon-to-be mother-in-law, glaring at the woman who immediately shuts up and stops fidgeting around. Because the way Levi's staring at her is just terrifying. He's used his death glare on so many people. And it always works. Except on Erwin – but that's another story. 

“Okay, listen up, _bitch_ ,” he says, talking freely now as Erwin is out of the room – and Cornelia gasps. “I won't waste our time and give you the crap of 'I changed so fucking much, I'm not the man who I once used to be, I shed my past, blah, blah, blah' because even if it is true, you won't believe me anyway,” he says in a dark tone. And that has Cornelia pressing her lips together, looking scared. And she should be. “Just let me tell you one thing,” Levi continues, slowly leaning forward over the table, furrowing his brows, “if it wasn't for Erwin, I would have already trashed this fucking place, and if you ever mention his father like that again, fuck, I _will_ come back alone and do just that: burn down your motherfucking house. You following me?” Cornelia nods slowly. “Good.”

Levi grabs his cup, slurping on tea obnoxiously loud on purpose, enjoying the way Cornelia Smith flinches slightly at that. Then, when Levi finishes the cup of tea, he slams it down hard on the table, making Cornelia Smith flinch, yet again. And when their eyes meet, Levi smirks smugly. Dangerously. And he continues to lecture her.

“You know what makes me wanna laugh the most about all this crap?” he asks, folding his arms across his hard chest while he’s leaning back in his chair, not actually waiting for Erwin’s mother to answer that. “You’re talking all this shit about my family, like we’re so poor and uneducated and dumb and evil and shit, and you’re acting like you’re some fancy pancy, ‘Queen of England’-missus with her fucking porcelain cups and exotic tea, looking down on everybody, who is _so_ below you, as if you were some kind of doctor or lawyer – when we are _all_ from the exact shame shithole, where we will _all_ fucking stay _forever._ And you, bitch, haven’t even worked a fucking day in your life, letting the fucking state take over all of your bills to this day, claiming to be a fucking housewife and mother by choice, when you never actually cooked a real fucking dinner for your husband when he still was alive working his ass off for his family, and you never actually played with your son because you were too busy binging on telenovelas and talk shows all the fucking time.”

Cornelia’s mouth is agape. But there’s no sound coming out.

“So don’t act as if you’d really care about Erwin,” Levi nearly growls at the woman, who, once more, flinches. “This isn’t about him, this is all about you. Like it’s always been, Cornelia. You and your fucking fantasy world. Look around you, nutcase. This isn’t the fucking Buckingham Palace.”

It really isn’t.

It’s a shabby, small, narrow, row house, with a sorry excuse of a garden and appliances as old as some of the town’s senior citizens, busted flooring and remnants of moisture damage, the rent for this piece of shit paid for by the state – because Levi’s right and Erwin’s mother has been on welfare almost all her life. 

“And stop acting like you’re some kind of princess, all right? As if you were better than me and my family. And as if you had a fucking reputation to lose because of Erwin being with me, bitch,” Levi snorts. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He shakes his head, letting the air audibly out of his mouth. “Fuck. All right, you psycho,” he then continues. “Here’s how this shit’s gonna go down: Erwin’s moving out today and he’s not coming back. We’re getting married next Saturday, and if you don’t show up, I swear to God: You’re never gonna see your son again. Understood?”

Cornelia’s huffing and puffing again, but it takes a few moments before she can actually form words again. “Y-You.... H-How… How dare you talk to me like that?! There’s no way in fucking hell I’ll let my son marry a thug like you! You should have never gotten out of prison! You should be rotting in a cell, just like that filthy uncle of yours should!”

“The uncle you so shamelessly fucked with behind the pub each Thursday night when your husband was still alive and on night shift?” Levi asks with a cold smile on his lips – and Cornelia is suddenly frozen like a statue. Then, her mouth moves, her jaw quivering, her eyes are wide – but once more, she isn’t saying anything. Levi chuckles coldly.

“What? You’re not even denying it? Interesting.”

This shakes Erwin’s mother awake. “Wh-What?! Of, of course I’m denying that! Th-That never happened, what the— who the hell do you think you are?!” she blabbers out, clearly shaken, her gaze switching from Levi to the stairs, afraid Erwin might come down and hear.

Because, of course, her son has no idea about this. Why should he?

“You’re a terrible liar, Cornelia,” Levi states, uncrossing his arms to take another bite of the terribly sweet apple pie bought at the big discounter. Because Cornelia Smith doesn’t even know how to fucking bake cookies and can’t afford anything else. 

Not that Levi could. But that’s not the point.

“I really wonder how the fuck you’ve kept your shenanigans secret all this while,” he says. 

And that’s when Cornelia suddenly leans over the table, hissing through clenched teeth, keeping her voice down. So that her son definitely doesn’t hear her. “Kenny swore not to tell!” That fucking—”

“Oi, you’d better watch that mouth of yours, _mom_ ,” Levi hisses back, actually throwing the cake fork at the woman, who releases a surprised sound at that, jerking back. “After all, since Kenny’s basically my dad – because my bastard-father walked out on my mother when I was one year old, as I am sure you know because you live for gossip and love badmouthing my family especially – he’s going to be Erwin’s father-in-law. So I suggest you try showing respect for him. Because you know that there’s nothing else that Ackermans hate more than when someone is disrespecting our family. Right?”

Cornelia swallows, visibly shaken, visibly nervous, gazing back to the stairs all the time.

“Who else knows?” she breathes out, and Levi smirks. 

“No one but me,” he answers truthfully, satisfied that he’s got her exactly where he wanted her to be. “And if you want it to stay this way, you’ll do exactly as I say.”

A majestic shade of anger passes over Cornelia’s face.

“Are you… Are you trying to blackmail me?”

“I’m not _trying_ to blackmail you. I _am_ blackmailing you,” Levi answers, grinning, bathing in the sight of Erwin’s stupid mother clenching her jaw.

“Aren’t you ashamed?! To do this to your… fiancé’s mother?” She hates saying the word and Levi loves it.

“What can I tell you? I’m an Ackerman, after all. And are you really in a position to be talking about shame? _Mom_?” Levi loves the way Cornelia Smith flinches whenever he calls her that. It might just be his new favourite game to play. Next to playing with his hot, blond bunny… But that’s a different sort of play.

“So listen, mummy,” he says, imitating the way Erwin addressed his mother before the big revelation, “you’re gonna sit tight until next Saturday, you’re gonna turn up at the wedding, keep your mouth shut and smile the whole goddamn fucking time, showing everybody just how fucking happy you are for your son getting married to me. Got that?”

Cornelia swallows. She’s pale. She’s angry and scared. But she nods. Because she doesn’t have a choice.

“And after the wedding, you’re not going to interfere in our marriage in any fucking way. Your son made a choice and you will accept that. I’m gonna be your son-in-law and there’s nothing you can do about it. Got it? And if you ever, _ever_ , insult Erwin again, talk him down, shame him for anything in his life, like being gay – and I know you did that a lot – I will tell him about you and Kenny. Fuck, I will tell _everybody_. So you’d better fucking keep your mouth shut from now on. Kay?”

Cornelia swallows again, her gaze once more moving towards the stairs. Thankfully, Erwin is not on them. Levi knows because he’s been keeping an eye on the stairs as well. Then, the woman nods again, with a grim and at the same time terrified expression on her face.

Levi sighs, listening to the footsteps upstairs as Erwin’s walking through his room, gathering some of his belongings. Probably the last ones because he’s been up there for a while now.

“You know,” Levi says in a low voice, looking Cornelia deep in the eyes, as he hears the door upstairs being opened. “We’re both trash, you and I. But you know what the difference is between us? I don’t deny it. I don’t lie about it. I _own_ it.”

Cornelia wants to answer, but Erwin’s coming down the stairs, and so she shuts her mouth. 

When the blond man enters the room, she and Levi are quiet.

“Is… everything okay down here?” he asks, and Levi turns to him, giving him a wonderful smile, one that makes Erwin’s belly flutter and that makes him answer with a shy smile of his own.

“Yes, bunny,” the ex-con replies. “Your mom and I actually had a really good talk. Didn’t we, Cornelia?” He turns to her and the woman clears her throat.

“Y-Yes.”

Erwin hesitates. Then, he sets his backpack down onto the floor. “...mom,” he mumbles, retaking his seat next to Levi, who immediately puts his hand onto Erwin’s big thigh, “...I really love Levi,” he then says, looking her in the eyes, and she’s having a hard time reciprocating it. “It’s like with you and dad,” Erwin tries to explain – and only Levi witnesses Cornelia flinching slightly at this remark. “He always told me how he fell in love with you after the first time you talked, and how he couldn’t explain it, but knew that he wanted to be with you for the rest of your life. I feel the same way about Levi. Even if we have just been going out for a year.” Levi squeezes the man’s thigh while Cornelia stares at the pie crumbs. There’s an uncomfortable silence. 

“Come on, honey-bunny,” Levi eventually says, getting up. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“You…” Erwin starts another attempt at speaking to his mother. “Can you please come to the wedding, mum? I know you don’t like Levi and that you’re angry with me, but… I really love him. He’s good to me, and he’s not a criminal anymore. He works at Kenny’s and Uri’s car workshop, it’s a good job and he’s supporting me. He doesn’t do drugs anymore, he doesn’t party hard anymore every weekend and he’s not stealing cars anymore. He’s a changed man, mom. And I think you should give him a chance. Everybody deserves a second chance – that’s what dad always used to say, isn’t it?”

Cornelia swallows audibly, unable to look her son in the eyes.

“Your mum will be there, I’m sure, bunny,” Levi tells him in a very soft voice, squeezing his shoulder, promptin for Erwin to get up. “I’m gonna come by with some friends to fetch the rest of Erwin’s stuff next week,” he announces to his future mother-in-law before they both leave Cornelia sitting in her silence at the table and get out of that oppression, horrible house.

“You okay?” Levi asks, watching Erwin put on the big black helmet as he does so himself.

Erwin nods. Then, they climb onto Levi’s old motorcycle, and the black-haired ex-con can’t even describe the happiness he’s feeling as those two big, strong arms wrap around him, and he feels that equally big body pressing against his back as he steers the Yamaha through the narrow streets of this shitty part of town. Only to drive into another shitty area. But that’s okay. They’re poor, all right. Erwin doesn’t have a job and Levi’s only now started his “career” as a mechanic. He’s an apprentice, money’s shit, but Kenny and Uri hellp out as much as they can. Not only by giving Levi more money than he should earn in his position, as much as they can afford.

They were the ones throwing out the tenants who lived in the crappy flat above the car shop to make room for Levi and Erwin, even if Kenny would have gladly allowed the two of them to live with him and Uri in their small house. “But a young married couple needs their privacy,” Uri had intervened and thus paved the road to their own place – for very cheap rent. A family price.

It’s far from done yet. Fuck, they don’t even have a proper bed yet, have to share the small one Levi’s slept on when living with his uncle and his partner. But it’s all right. They are all right.

Erwin smiles when he gets his helmet off and they walk up the stairs to their little realm. They don’t talk about Cornelia anymore. Levi makes sure to keep Erwin occupied with the wedding instead.

And it’s a blast. Even though many people would claim it’s trashy and cheap.

Because it kind of _is_ trashy and cheap.

Neither Erwin nor Levi own a proper suit and they don’t have money to buy one, so they rent one. Levi’s way too big, Erwin’s way too small, but they don’t have time to look for something else. And actually, it is quite funny and they both nearly suffocate while laughing hard about each other.

“You look so fucking stupid,” Levi snorts and Erwin giggles looking at the sleeves that end aorund ten centimetres before his wrist.

“Look at you, fucking midget,” he calls his boyfriend out, who had to roll up his sleeves and the pant legs, and who is looking ten kilograms heavier because of the big garment, and Levi cracks up even more.

They only wear the suits for the short ceremony at the civil registry office anyway.

Kenny and Uri are there, Kuchel is there, crying while smiling the whole time, Levi’s cousins Isabel and Farlan and Mikasa, his friends Petra, Olou, Gunther and Eld, getting on just fine with Erwin’s crew – Hange, Moblit, Mike and Nanaba. 

And just like Levi promised Erwin: Cornelia Smith attends, too.

Erwin’s so happy about that, the sight of his mother at the back of the room, faintly smiling at him, touching him so much he almost tears up.

Levi nods at her curtly and exchanges a long glance with uncle Kenny, who gave him that specific, spicy information so that Levi could make this happen: Blackmail the woman to make his bunny happy. Because that’s the only thing, next to his family, Levi cares about. And as of this day, Erwin’s family, too. And it’s glorious. 

The first cans of beer are already being opened when Erwin and Levi are signing the papers, making it official. Making Erwin Smith turn into Erwin Ackerman. Levi’s husband.

Cornelia is the last one to walk up to the pair to congratulate them on their marriage. It’s a little bit stiff and forced, but just like Levi told her to do, she’s smiling through the whole ordeal, and he nods at her again, laughing innerly how the woman is trying so hard not to look at Kenny, who is completely ignoring her anyway.

Erwin doesn’t notice any of those things. But that’s because Levi’s blond, big bunny is, as always, oblivious to everything, only focussed on his fiancé, now turned to his husband, focussed on this happy event. And also: Erwin’s a little bit tipsy because he was so nervous before the marriage ceremony, Uri made him drink a few shots of vodka to calm him down.

“Let’s get changed, Mr. Ackerman,” Levi says to Erwin as they exit the building with their guests, all blabbering and laughing and drinking. 

“Yeah, all right, Mr. Ackerman,” Erwin answers, grinning, squeezing Levi’s hand resting in his.

And Erwin’s actually really glad to witness Levi just shed the suit in front of Kenny’s old van to change back into his usual attire: His boots and black leather trousers, the black shirt with a bloody logo of a death metal band, while Erwin slips into his used jeans and his favourite Metallica t-shirt.

“Give your husband a kiss, bunny,” Levi prompts, already grabbing Erwin’s chin to pull the bigger man down, who gladly obliges, kissing Levi chastely on the lips – with their guests around them clapping.

Then, they move to the main party location.

The auto shop, or rather the yard in front of it.

Together with Uri and Kenny they cleared it of all the cars and motorcycles waiting to be repaired. There’s places to sit under pavilions and umbrellas that more of their guests and neighbours gathering have brought. Kenny and Uri are the self-proclaimed barbecue chefs, handing out cheap steaks and fatty sausages to everybody. 

All attending brought a salad, bread, and most importantly: booze.

The yard is full of people, the music is loud, and Cornelia Smith, as far as Levi can tell, endures it bravely. It’s probably also thanks to his mother, who has taken Cornelia to sit with her girlfriends. Drinking crappy rosé out of a carton and eating burgers with sickly sweet ketchup while laughing loudly about shit.

Erwin and Levi get drunk too. Hammered. As does everybody else. Even Cornelia. Uri calls her a cab at around midnight and it needs three people to fit her inside.

Erwin’s happy. And so is Levi.

Kenny and Uri tell them to fuck off when they start helping to clean the place after the guests begin to leave.

“Go, enjoy your wedding night, idiots,” Kenny says, and Erwin blushes. 

And then they do as they are told.

Before, however, they nearly break their legs because Erwin insists on Levi carrying him in a bridal style over the threshold. And even if Levi really wants to comply and fulfill his sweet bunny’s wish – Erwin is just too fucking adorable for this world – he is so drunk, he’s not able to keep his balance and they both end up on the floor, giggling and laughing. 

They both have no idea how they make it to the cramped bed.

They have no idea how they manage to get out of their clothes.

But finally, they are naked, kissing sloppily, stroking each other’s hard cocks, until Levi finally has enough of that and gets the lube out and into Erwin; and Erwin Ackerman is moaning _so_ loudly when Levi opens him up, the black-haired is sure he’ll just come untouched because of those erotic sounds Erwin’s making while he’s fisting the sheets when Levi plays with his prostate.

“Please,” Erwin suddenly moans, his words almost gibberish, “f-fuck me a-already…”

And that just sends Levi’s blood boiling. 

“Fuck,” he rasps, fidgeting with the condom, almost giving up because his head is spinning and his hands are shaking – but he’s so fucking horny, and he _will_ give it to Erwin tonight, has to. It’s their wedding night, for fuck’s sake, and no matter how fucking buzzed he is, he is going to bang his husband tonight…!

“Leviiii…” Erwin whines and the black-haired’s cock throbs when he’s watching that stretched hole clench and unclench right in front of his eyes, Erwin lying on his back, legs in the air, spreading them obscenely with both hands holding on to his own, thick, hairy thighs. “Leviiii…” he repeats and the younger Ackerman watches his husband’s dick throb.

And finally, he’s able to roll the condom down his length. Then, his instinct takes over, and he’s shoving his cock inside Erwin’s hole in one fucking go, making the blond throw his head back, release a horrificly wanton moan – and Levi starts banging him.

They fuck hard and fast.

Like bunnies.

And Erwin’s drool is all over the pillow, they have to change its cover before settling down to actually sleep.

It’s almost six in the morning when there are finally no more sounds of people talking and moving things around coming from the yard, very slowly beginning to sober up.

“Babe...” Erwin murmurs, his voice hoarse and croaky, his breath hot against Levi’s throat as the big man is clinging onto him, his big leg thrown over Levi’s smaller body, Erwin’s arms wrapped around him, just like Levi’s are wrapped around his big bunny-man.

“Hm?”

“Did you... Did you really kill a man?” Erwin’s words are still slurred, but clear enough to be understood.

“You m-arried me, without... being sure about this?” Levi asks, also slurring, and Erwin swallows.

“Y-yeah... o-obviously...”

Levi snorts. “Wh-What if I did?”

There’s a moment of silence. Then, Levi feels Erwin shrugging. “If you did, I’m sure, uh... there was a... good reason for that.”

“So you’d be fine with me being a m-m-murderer?” Levi managed to finally say the word.

“Y-yeah.” Erwin yawns loudly.

“R-Really?”

“Yeah, because I love you. And I trust you. Aaaaaand: I know you would never murder _me_.”

Levi sighs, breathing a kiss onto Erwin’s forehead. “God, you’re s-such a duuuumb, blond bimbo...!” he murmurs, kissing his husband’s forehead again, pulling him tighter against his body, while Erwin’s protesting vocally.

“Hey, d-d-don’t be mean to me on our first day as a m-married couple...!”

Levi chuckles. Then, he finally answers Erwin’s question.

“I didn’t kill that man. I will tell you eeeeverything tomorrow, but,” Levi has to stop to release a really long, deep yawn, “let’s fucking sleep now, bunny.”

“mkay...” Erwin whispers – and passes out immediately.

They wake up with an enormous headache a few hours later. Laughing and groaning about it, not bothering to get up yet. They cuddle, and when Levi’s spooning Erwin, the latter finally asks.

“You… You wanted to tell me about what happened… with that guy?”

“Yeah,” Levi breathes out and then tells Erwin about the event from almost ten years ago. How that drunk fucker had assaulted Isabel outside of a shitty bar nearby, trying to rape her behind the bins, when Levi went out looking for her. “Of course, I lost my shit and went straight for his throat.” It was Farlan who stopped him before he delivered the final blow. “No one called the coppers because that asshole was a drug dealer with a colossal record of other offenses so his friends just took him home and had someone treat his wounds.” This is how the rumour of Levi “killing a guy” had been born.

“Why did you say that you should have killed him?” Erwin asks. “I mean, he… he didn’t rape Isabel, right? Is it just because he… tried? Or because he didn’t go to prison because of the attempt?”

“It’s because that asshole later ‘succeeded’ and raped another woman, and then this shitty racist fucker got big in the neo-Nazi scene, famous for beating up refugees and _he_ actually killed a young man from Syria. It was all over the news just three years ago.” 

“So that guy was Floch Forster???” Erwin gasps. “Shit! I went to elementary school with him, I was so shocked when I read about it in the paper, shit.”

“Yeah, well he’s rotting in prison now.”

“Thank fuck.”

There’s a moment of silence in which the both Ackermans continue to cuddle.

“I love you,” Erwin suddenly says, and Levi smiles.

“I love you, too.”

“Promise me you won’t beat up people anymore. Because I don’t want _you_ to go to prison again.”

“I won’t get my ass to prison, bunny. I’ve got you to take care of now anyways. But I won’t stop beating up people if they do some fucked up shit.”

“Yeah, I know... Just don’t beat them up too harshly. Like, you know: Like if they can still speak and kinda walk afterwards, that should be fine, right?”

Levi chuckles. “You’re so sweet, my little bunny-rabbit.”

“Why do you actually keep calling me bunny? It is like a playboy thing?”

“Oh, you should definitely be on the cover of playboy magazine with that huge cock of yours all whipped out, yeah.”

Erwin blushes and punches Levi playfully. “Dick.”

“Yeah, you can also call it dick if you want to,” Levi continues to joke and Erwin rolls his eyes, flustered. And it’s magical.

“Seriously, Levi: Why do you keep on calling me bunny?”

“You don’t like it?”

“No, I mean: Yeah. Yeah, I like it! But...”

Levi chuckles, planting a kiss onto Erwin’s nape, pushing himself further against his husband. “I call you bunny because – and that’s a secret – bunny’s are my favourite animals. They are fluffy and cute and I just wanna cuddle them and feed them carrots and shit.”

There’s a few moments of silence before Erwin bursts out laughing, “What??? The tough, notorious, badass Levi Ackerman loves _bunnies_??!?!?”

“Remember when you said you were sure I wouldn’t murder _you_? Well, think again,” Levi murmurs, unable to contain a big grin, biting playfully into Erwin’s neck, making him cry out and laugh even harder.

Levi loves to hear Erwin laughing like that.

Erwin scrambles to turn around, until they are facing each other. His smile is dazzling. Even if he reeks of alcohol and cigarettes and sweat and his morning breath is abhorrent. But probably he’s taking in the same kind of odour coming from Levi.

“So I’m fluffy and cute and you just wanna cuddle me and feed me carrots?” Erwin teases, and Levi grins.

“I wanna feed you my cock, but I can also give you carrots, if you prefer them.”

Erwin giggles – and then he disappears under the covers. Because he _doesn’t_ prefer carrots.

“Oh fuck,” Levi moans as his husband sucks him off. “Marriage fucking rocks...!” he sighs after he climaxes, and Erwin moves back up to face him, wiping his mouth, grinning. “I love you, bunny,” Levi breathes out and places a kiss on Erwin’s forehead.

“I love you, too”, Erwin replies in a murmur, wrapping his arms back around Levi, his face pressing against the dark-haired man’s naked chest. “My little goat.”

“What?!” Levi gasps, beginning to laugh. “Did you... Did you just call me little? ...and a _goat_?”

Erwin’s snickering. “What? Goats are my favourite animals. And you _are_ little...”

“First of all: I am _compact_. And secondly: Goats?!”

“Yeah.”

“Goats?”

Erwin’s still laughing. “Yeah.”

“Goats are super dumb and they poo everywhere.”

“So do bunnies.”

“At least they’re fluffy!”

“So are goats.”

“Oh God.”

Erwin snickers, and Levi can’t stop smiling. Because around Erwin he is able to let his guard down. Because Erwin doesn’t care about his dark past. About what Levi did. How he stole things, how he got high in alleys, how he beat the crap out of people. 

With Erwin around, Levi can be himself. No matter how lame and embarrassing some of his sides actually are. Being with Erwin, Levi can finally breathe. 

He can be free.

“You’re so fucking weird,” he says to the blond, breathing a kiss on to his crown, and Erwin hums contendely.

“So are you.”

“We’re the perfect couple.”

They are.

And Cornelia Smith doesn't give them shit about it anymore.

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! This was posted as a Twitter fic. For those of you not following yet, change that ;) [https://twitter.com/Katrina__Rice](url)


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